Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology

Description

From the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek, Norse,
Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest, bawdiest forms! All
our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In
reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits
of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes,
Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are
rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told:
loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Did you know? Cronus liked to eat
babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got
construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh
was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally
cool about stabbing his kid in the face. Still skeptical? Here are a few more
gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save
its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire
Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep
murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only
stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their
enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in
exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where
that came from. Read more

Features:

Product Details:

• Publisher ‏ : ‎ TarcherPerigee; 1st edition (March 5, 2013)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• Paperback ‏ : ‎ 304 pages
• ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 039916040X
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 00
• Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8.8 ounces
• Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 4.52 x 0.64 x 8.03 inches
• Best Sellers Rank: #86,593 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #159 in Folklore & Mythology Studies #277 in Humor Essays (Books) #862 in Fiction Satire
• #159 in Folklore & Mythology Studies
• #277 in Humor Essays (Books)